Thank you so very much for this outlet. We thought we were alone, though, it's heartbreaking to read all of the stories from fellow military spouses (as well as widows and retirees trying to leave the final duty station).
We purchased our home in 2006. I won't be as detailed, as I'm not comfortable.
Can say we had reason with my husband's position to remain where we were. Otherwise, we would not have purchased the home at all. We had been there a LONG time in military years.
In 2008, we learned that he couldn't remain there. Husband was soon deploying. The news was devastating.
We are in one of the highest COL markets. Early 2008 was really the first big wave in our area of transfers feeling the brunt. The rental market was already strained, also, because of this. We were not going to be able to sell (consulting several Realtors). The best 'bet' was to rent at a huge loss, just to get some income in.
We signed a multi year lease with a military tenant. It did enable us to move on, and we just prayed that we could find the resources to make up the difference. Our family moved into a very small apartment vs. our beautiful home that we had known. We sold our second vehicle, no home telephone, cable. We worked off of a poverty level grocery budget and ran the gas tank on empty. When repairs needed to be done at the home, which ended up being every month, as our tenants were the pick up the phone for everyone variety.. it set us into a deep negative where I had to juggle electric and water bills (to the point where the gas man came out one day to shut us off).
For the past six months, I had been contacting our lender. We have no 2nd on the property and a fixed rate VA mortgage. They continually said that they can not help us, as we've never been late. We've never been late on any creditor bill (minus the utilities as described above). So, the following month we decided to eat and pay our four walls first, which meant we were late! I called them thinking, I did what they were getting at 'be late, then we can help you'. Wrong. They worked our 'budget', which doesn't account for the extras that we do (selling things, his working side jobs for neighbors). They said we were in the negative and the 'system' would not allow them to make payment arrangements.
Now, we are behind one month.
The following due date comes, and I call to make THAT payment. They now won't accept it, as we owe the behind month. They do not accept partial payments. So, obviously, this will be a continous thing where I'll never get to the point where I'll be able to make a payment?
We withdraw from our TSP on a hardship loan (which has to be repaid) so now we have that extra expense. I call to catch up the payments. The next month - repair at the house out of state and extra household expenses here. Same story, 'can't help you'.
Husband is in extreme training right now. He works and comes home to study, plus has to maintain physical training (running 10 miles a day). So, I have the kids at home with me (it's Summer and child care is $10/hr which is all that I would earn outside of the home and my husband has a VERY inconsistent schedule right now). But, I'm cooking from scratch, selling things, working on the conservation front. He secures a part time job and now is exhausted. Fortunately, it was enough to get payment arrangements with the lender.
So we think this is a great deal? It's not. They would not take anything on the 'back end' of the loan. We now are faced with a forbearance agreement. Our PITI has increased by $400/month for 12 months which includes a 'late fee' for every month. The document that they mailed me after the fact, states that they will report to the credit bureaus a 'late' for every month this next year until we satisfy the forbearance!
Fast forward to now. We are strapped. Husband is TDY (he's already gone). Now, we do not have that part time income and our obligations (TSP plus forbearance) have increased even more.
I'm not sleeping. I'm physically ill. I've developed depression and Tricare has prescribed an antidepressant. We are the typical senior enlisted family. Husband is that guy in the command that everyone respects, the go to guy with the great service record. I'm the former command volunteer and mom who has endured over half of my marriage of nearly 20 years away from my husband. We had flawless credit, with scores near 750, never late on any bill, a building TSP. Now, all we have is an empty pantry and our lender calling us every 2 hours.
We have the tenant and a property manager. I KNOW they can find somewhere else int hsi area to lease that is LESS than they are currently paying with us. There's even a rental like our home one street over, their kids would stay in the same neighborhood/school! Their security deposit is in escrow, they can easily get that back. We're willing to let them pay their rent into an 'escrow' with our property manager (this way we have reserves if there's repairs until they move out that are critical like air conditioning) anything left in the pot, they can have back.. we don't need it if we're not paying our mortgage.
We are so nervewracked about whether husband will loose his security clearance, it's an elevated one. He's worked so hard and needs it for his former rate plus what he is doing now. I don't want all of this hard training he's doing to be in vain, but consulting with an accountant and the Realtor plus legal, relief, services on base and his command - it's evident that we have to let this house go one way or the other..
His command suggested that we call VA tomorrow morning. I see on their website they note that Deed in Lieu of foreclosures may be considered where the VA will then own the property and pay out to our lender the difference between our mortgage and the value.It says that we may or may not have to pay back the difference or a portion of the difference. I will gladly make payment arrangements or accept a garnishment on my husband's LES on payment arrangemnets spread over many years, as it would be a major savings from what we're doing now.
The Realtor confirmed we're about $17,000 upside down. This is not a fortune, thankfully. But, we can not short sale. The market is just depressed, we are exhausted from doing this for nearly two years. And our tenants are in the middle of their lease. They would be livid if we put the house on the market. At least a deed in lieu or foreclosure - we move on, they do, too.
This was entirely too long...
Any guidance? We are going to be in default (again) this month. His command is going to give him an answer regarding his clearance when he returns from TDY. By that point, the house payment will already be late under the forbearance agreement. We paid them $1,000 last month to enact the forbearance, so I don't know if that will count? or if we're now technically 2-3 months behind, which means they can move forward with foreclosure?
I know I'll have some answers early this week with VA and the attorney that I emailed in that state.
In the meantime any guidance would be so appreciated.
FYI - We became nervous after our first late with how that would affect our credit cards. So, we enrolled in a reputable debt management program (not a settlement program and it's A+ with BBB) and all of our proposals have now been accepted and accounts closed. We only have one vehicle and it's newer under warranty for some time. We do not foresee need for any credit related financing in the next 6 years, so we're okay in taking the massive hit on our credit if needed.
Husband is leaving on his next deployment this next year. We need resolve and peace in our lives again, as well as a return to the budget we used to have. Which was conservative and comfortable.
- weneedpeace